Journal 25 Dec 1944 – 1948 My mother offered me
Image by Julie70 Joyoflife
It all begun, not now, but years ago, as the Christmas 1944, in Budapest, when I was ten years and half, I got this diary and begin to write in it.
At the time, we were hiding from nazis, and also from the Russian canons felling all around us, and a few days later on the first floor of the house and the garden surrounding it.
My mother got me this diary, so instead of speaking too much to those living in the house with which we hid together in the basement cave, I could begin to write down my thoughts and feelings.
From then on, "the rest is history"…
I never stopped expressing myself and what I felt. In writing. And then with my friends. Lot later in blogs and then in public.
I never stopped writing and documenting my life. Expressing my feelings about what was happening, thus documenting my up and downs. Sometimes, I was afraid to express the truth. Sometimes, a small pause, or another way of communication, used. But his was Ithe beginning of my expressions.
Here is the beginning in French then English.
In my first writings I had to lie of our true names as we were hiding under another family identity and I knew it would be too big a menace for the few people surrounding us to know the truth and our real names. I did, without problem as I did not feel names were so important after all. And surviving the nazis was most important then.
In another diary, I lied by omission. When my father was arrested in the middle of the night and taken somewhere we were never told and hold without any legal papers for seven month, I was banned also from the youth association I was in, and my mother and me become people to avoid. I was afraid to write what have happened and wrote only about how I felt. And about the cave and what happened when I was ten, six years before.
Just before 25 I did not write down in my diary the meeting with the communist tyrant wife, Elena Ceusescu in my workplace the Chemical Research Institute, and how next day I was banned from it, nor how a bit later I was not only forbidden to finish the studies I almost finished after six years of giving exams while working but also banned from any studies in any University "enemy of people". And later, forbidden to work. I did not dare to write down on paper. I expressed my feelings only, again.
Later, I stopped writing for a while as my husband did not like what I wrote and I was in love.
There are many reasons we do not express ourself when something happens. I did make stories and told them in London, these 5 last years, one by one and more.
Expressing freely is important. Whenever possible. As much as possible.
An album I begun on different Decembers
{www.flickr.com/photos/joyoflife/sets/72157638340943804/}
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Az elsö naplom: magyarul
julie2004.blogspot.co.uk retroblog publie le journal, mes journaux traduits en français, de dix à 70 ans
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Début de journal (en français) debut de mes journaux – j’avais 10 ans
25 décembre 1944, Budapest
Budapest, 25 décembre 1944 (traduit de hongrois)
Hier nous avons fêté Noël. Je suis remplie de bonheur ! Pourtant c’est la guerre.
Nous avons mis des branches de sapin sur le lampadaire, nous les avons décorées et avons ajouté des bonbons. J’ai reçu aussi beaucoup de cadeaux !!!
ce journal-ci, ce crayon, une paire de pantoufles, du cuir pour une paire de chaussures, une grande luge, une paire de gants angora, un encrier, un tas d’images à découper, deux livres : les Aventures du baron Munchausen et La Grand Fête, j’ai aussi reçu une jolie boîte pour ranger mes trésors et huit mouchoirs.
Je suis très heureuse !!!
L’après-midi
Depuis deux jours nous entendons le grondement des canons tellement fort que même maman les a entendus, au moins les plus violents. Voilà ce qui est arrivé cet après-midi :
pendant ma gymnastique je me suis cogné la tête: j’ai presque oublié de faire le pont arrière en position debout. Nous avons passé l’après-midi chez les Tommy (mignon a 2 ans !) parce que chez eux il fait bien chaud. (Mais je vais me coucher maintenant.)
26 déc. 1944
Aujourd’hui c’était l’anniversaire de maman.
Le matin on m’a grondée et plus tard je me suis promenée avec papa.
J’ai constaté des choses intéressantes.
Nous habitons maintenant à la Colline des Roses, dans la rue TasSanglant. Une petite bombe est tombée devant l’église de la rue des Apôtres (mais personne n’est mort). Un obus a frappé au coin de la rue Marguerite, il a détruit les vitres et a fait tomber un peu les clôtures mais n’a pas causé d’autres dégâts.
Les russes sont déjà à 10 km, à Vallée-Tiède (je suis contente.)
Comme c’est l’anniversaire de maman, l’après-midi nous avons joué au Monopoly. C’était formidable! A la fin, le français (échappé d’Allemagne sur le Danube) a remplacé maman. Finalement, il a gagné, avec 48 mille, moi je suis restée avec 24 mille, papa seulement 20 mille forints … en papier. C’était fantastique ! ! ! ! ! !
Le soir:
Je me demande ce qu’est l’amour ? Que sent-on alors dans le cœur ?
________ in English beginning julie70diary.blogspot.co.uk
Budapest, December 25, 1944 (translated from Hungarian) 10 years old
Yesterday we celebrated Christmas. I am filled with happiness! Yet it is war. We have pine branches on the lamp, we have decorated and added candies.
I also received many gifts! This diary, this pencil, a pair of slippers, leather for shoes, a large sledge, a pair of angora gloves, an inkstand, a bunch of images to be cut, two books: The Adventures of Baron Munchausen and The Great Day, I also received a nice box to store my treasures and eight handkerchiefs.
I am very happy!
Afternoon
For two days we were hearing the roar of cannons so strong that even the mother heard, at least the most violent ones.
This is what happened this afternoon during my gymnastics I hit my head, I almost forgot to make the bridge from standing.
We spent the afternoon in Tommy (a cute 2 years old boy!) Because at their place it is hot. (But I’m going to bed now.)
December 26 1944
Today was Mom’s birthday.
The morning I was scolded and later I walked around the house, to the nearby streets with Dad.
I found some interesting things.
We now live in Rose Hill, the street LotsBlood. A small bomb fell in front of the church of St. Apostles’ (but no one died). A shell struck the corner of Margaret Street and it destroyed the windows and brought down a few fences but caused no other damage.
The Russians are already 10km from us, at Warm Valley (I’m happy.)
As it was the anniversary of Mom, the afternoon we played Monopoly. It was great! At the end, the French (escaped from Germany on the Danube) has replaced mom. Finally, he won with 48 thousand, I am left with 24 thousand, Dad only 20 thousand in … paper.
It was fantastic! ! ! ! ! !
Evening:
I wonder what love is? What then does one feel in your heart?
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