This week, news reports said Uncle Bob was gravely ill in a Singapore hospital.
Predictably, sycophantic officials were quick to dismiss the reports out of hand and declare him fit and well.
Perhaps it was ominous that the news of Robert Mugabe’s imminent demise came on the back of Malawian President Bingu wa Mutharika’s death last week.
According to an Inter-Press Service news agency report, when the news of Mutharika’s death broke, many Malawians openly and brazenly celebrated.
Celebrating death, even of an enemy, is ordinarily deeply un-African. But these are extraordinary circumstances.
With Malawi’s reported celebrations in mind, the boys chewed the fat over Mugabe’s reported grave illness.
Playing the devil’s advocate, I asked if there could be any people praying for Gushungo’s death. His track record of killing, maiming, jailing, impoverishing and displacing “peace-loving” Zimbos is well chronicled. And his record of showing poll results the middle finger is stellar.
Man of Letters said: “I cannot wish for him to die, but when I think of the plight he has visited upon his people, I’m tempted to say ‘hooray’.”
Mavovo was rather indifferent. “Whether he lives or dies is of no interest to me.”
Biggs said: “It would be disgusting if there were people who wished Mugabe dead. Many are so-called Christians who are supposed to be pro-life. But that is beside the point.
“The point is that the Western media have been wishing him dead for as long as I can remember. He can’t cough without them spreading rumours.
“I can’t wait for Mugabe to return from Singapore and defiantly say: ‘The news of my death is rather exaggerated.’”
Continued Biggs: “Without a shadow of a doubt, he has done some evil things to his people.”
Man of Letters then chipped in. “Mugabe has managed to get away with murder because of the cowardice of the Zimbabwean people. They have failed to organise to remove the despot. He has managed to run the country down because Zimbabweans have allowed it.
“You make an interesting point about Zimbos’ role in all this sorry mess. But what of leaders who are out to feather their nests, instead of serving people?” I challenged.
“They should mobilise fellow Africans to remove Mugabe and not run to the West.”
Man of Letters’ views are a tad simplistic if you consider that regional and continental bodies are notoriously known to be exceedingly toothless.
“George W Bush ruined Iran and Afghanistan, but no one is wishing for his death.
“Barack Obama and his friends messed up Libya, but no one wishes him, Nicholas Sarkozy, David Cameron, and Tony Blair before him, dead. This world we live in is warped.
“I wish for Mugabe to live long so he can continue to tell the West where to get off,” said Biggs.
“Yes, yes, Biggs, his telling the West where to get off, how will it benefit his people?” I asked.
“Mate, this is politics, where ethics are woefully non-existent. Brothers in Jamaica don’t call it ‘politricks’ for nothing. Politics is never about the people.”
“So Mugabe is justified in pillaging the country’s resources for his and his cronies’ benefit?”
“Of course not. You know my views on pigs feeding from the trough while children go hungry, lack a decent education and the youth, who form the majority of the population, are unemployed and unemployable,” said Biggs.
Wishing death on Mugabe would be playing God, but when will the octogenarian go?
One simply has to wonder what is it that makes a person want to stay on in power for ever.
