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REUTERS<\/p>\n
A man makes a sand sculpture with a likeness of US President Barack Obama near the site of the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, at the weekend. The convention opened today.<\/p>\n
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Spring is sprung,<\/em> <\/p>\n Da grass is riz.<\/em> <\/p>\n I wonder where da boidies is?<\/em> <\/p>\n Da boids is on da wing,<\/em> <\/p>\n Or so I hoid.<\/em> <\/p>\n But dat\u2019s absoid,<\/em> <\/p>\n Da wings is on da boid.<\/em> <\/p>\n It\u2019s official spring and I\u2019m glad to oblige reader Dick Pope with these wonderful lines he requested from Spring in the Bronx, to mark the official end of winter. <\/p>\n Who wrote them? Spring in the Bronx is often attributed to Ogden Nash, sometimes to ee cummings. But actually it\u2019s anonymous. <\/p>\n Unfortunately, spring in South Africa \u2013 KZN especially \u2013 is not quite like spring in the Bronx. <\/p>\n It actually heralds a bit of balmy weather alternating with sharp, cold snaps, colder than what we had in winter. But let\u2019s not quibble. Let\u2019s rather join with Gilbert Sullivan. <\/p>\n The flowers that bloom in the spring,<\/em> <\/p>\n Tra la,<\/em> <\/p>\n Breathe promise of merry sunshine \u2013 <\/em> <\/p>\n As we merrily dance and we sing,<\/em> <\/p>\n Tra la,<\/em> <\/p>\n We welcome the hope that they bring,<\/em> <\/p>\n Tra la,<\/em> <\/p>\n Of a summer of roses and wine,<\/em> <\/p>\n Of a summer of roses and wine.<\/em> <\/p>\n This is a constant refrain these days at the Street Shelter for the Over-40s. <\/p>\n Peccavi!<\/strong> <\/p>\n Whoops! Mea culpa! <\/p>\n Last week I confused biblical character Isaac with Jacob. As Joel Sassoon points out, Esau was Jacob\u2019s nasty brother, not Isaac\u2019s. <\/p>\n Of course. Isaac was the son |of Abraham who was about to be sacrificed by his father when the angel made available the ram in the thicket instead. <\/p>\n Sigh! Back to Sunday school! <\/p>\n Legendary James<\/strong> <\/p>\n A headline last week \u2013 \u201cTime, gentlemen!\u201d \u2013 takes reader Mike Pye back to the \u201980s and the Robert E Lee pub at the Los Angeles Hotel, off Musgrave Road. <\/p>\n There was a waiter by the |name of James who every night towards closing time would walk around shouting: \u2018Time gentlemen, please!\u2019 We all chorused the same back at him. We suspected that he used to finish off all the left-over liquor so we left our drinks unfinished, just for him. <\/p>\n Elastic concept<\/strong> <\/p>\n Time can, of course, be an elastic concept in bar closing. In days of yore I used to frequent a pub in deepest Herefordshire, England. <\/p>\n Closing time in that county was 10.30pm. <\/p>\n About midnight I was approached by the landlord. \u201cArrrr,\u201d he said. \u201cOi\u2019m afraid we\u2019ll \u2018ave to close in an hour. We\u2019ve got a new bobby in t\u2019 village and we don\u2019t know which way he joomp yet.\u201d <\/p>\n Joyrider<\/strong> <\/p>\n A Jack Russell terrier caught a commuter train all the way from Kent to London. Frankie, aged six, ran on, slipping between the |legs of passengers during the morning rush at Gravesend station. Then \u2013 as picked up on CCTV camera \u2013 he found a window seat where he sat for the 30 minutes to St Pancras station, London. <\/p>\n There he was rescued by train staff. The train manager telephoned the number on his collar and found himself talking to an astonished Jane Abbott, his owner. Mrs Abbott and her daughter caught the train to London to fetch Frankie. <\/p>\n It cost them \u00a359 for the peak time fare, but the \u00a317.50 owed by Frankie was waived. <\/p>\n Was that a good idea? You don\u2019t want to encourage these joyriding terriers. <\/p>\n Going for it<\/strong> <\/p>\n Australian canoeists were astonished to find a koala bear swimming among them in Tallebudgera Creek, on the Gold Coast. <\/p>\n Koalas are not known for their swimming skills, nor for any punishing training regimen as they sleep for about 16 hours a day. <\/p>\n But this one was there in the water, swimming manfully. Eventually they lifted him into one of the canoes and took him to the bank where they released him. <\/p>\n Pesky canoeists! Won\u2019t they |let a koala train in peace? The Aussies are clearly desperate to |win some gold at the next Olympics. <\/p>\n Sporran spider<\/strong> <\/p>\n A large, hairy Chilean rose tarantula \u2013 presumably an abandoned pet \u2013 has been found beside a rubbish bin in Glasgow. The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is investigating. Amazing what can drop out of a Scotsman\u2019s kilt. <\/p>\n Tailpiece<\/strong> <\/p>\n Pastor: \u201cYou need to join the Army of the Lord!\u201d <\/p>\n Congregant: \u201cI\u2019m already in the Army of the Lord.\u201d <\/p>\n Pastor: \u201cHow come I don\u2019t see you except at Christmas and Easter?\u201d <\/p>\n Congregant (in a whisper): \u201cSecret service!\u201d <\/p>\n Last word<\/strong> <\/p>\n They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea. \u2013 Sir Francis Bacon <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" REUTERS A man makes a sand sculpture with a likeness of US President Barack Obama near the site of the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, at the weekend. The convention opened today. Spring is sprung, Da grass is riz. I wonder where da boidies is? Da boids is on da wing, Or so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[8275,953,2143],"class_list":{"0":"post-14252","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-south-africa","7":"tag-durban","8":"tag-newspaper","9":"tag-the-mercury","10":"entry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myza.co.za\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14252","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myza.co.za\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myza.co.za\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myza.co.za\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myza.co.za\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14252"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.myza.co.za\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14252\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myza.co.za\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14252"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myza.co.za\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14252"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myza.co.za\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14252"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}